[Verse 1]I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah fucked in the headMy stepfather said that I sucked in the bed`Til one night he snuck in and saidWe`re going out back, I want my dick sucked in the she`dCan`t we just play with Teddy Ruxbin instead?After I fuck you in the butt, get some headBust a nut, get some restThe next day my mother said @I don`t know what the fuck`s up with this kid!The bastard won`t even eat nothing he`s fedHe just hung himself in the bedroom he`s dead@@Debbie don`t let that fucker get you upsetGo in there, stick a fuckin` cigarette to his neckI bet you he`s fakin` it, I bet youI bet he probably just want`s to see how upset you would getI`ll go handle this of course, unless you object@@Ahh go fuck his brains out, if any`s left in his head@[Chorus]If you could count the skeletons in my closetUnder my bed and up under my faucetThen you would know I`ve completely lost itIs he nuts? NO! He`s insane!If you could count the skeletons in my closetUnder my bed and up under my faucetThen you would know I`ve completely lost itIs he nuts? NO! He`s insane![Verse 2]@Did you get him?@ Naaw, fucker tried to bite my face offI just got fuckin` chased off with a chainsawThen he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin` blades offAte the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshotThen he aimed at his own face, let the thing popTook his eye out, picked it up and played ping pongThen he played ping pong with his own ding dongThat motherfucker`s got nuts like King KongThen he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawnAnd he laid all up underneath it with the thing onThen he took his pants, he took every fuckin` thing offEverything, except his tank top and his training braAin`t he raw? Yeah mainiac, that`s Shady dogMan that motherfucker`s gangsta, ain`t he dogShady dog, what be going through that fuckin` brain of yours